Three amazing teenagers. How did that happen?!? Parenting tips from the pleasantly surprised.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Lily-pads & Dragonflies

Frog in a Pond
Each of our children are a lot like a frog in a pond. I don’t mean a yummy Freddo frog in a bowl of jelly! I mean real frogs in a real pond.

By the time our children are in school they have matured past a few early stages. Frogs protect their youngest offspring in all kinds of creative ways – in their mouth, under the skin on their back, behind rocks. Likewise, when our kids were little they were coddled – in a pram, playpen and baby carriers on our front, back or hip! Then they grew legs.

Now, no longer living under the water as tadpoles – they have moved to the surface, where all the other little frogs are living, breathing and growing – at school. ¬And there are all kinds of new things they encounter. In this new environment outside of home – where our children will spend 12 years of their lives – there are two important factors that we, as understanding parents, can help with. Lily-pads and dragonflies.

Lily-pads cover the surface of the pond. Each one is a small environment in which we live for a time – temporary environmental factors. Afternoon is a Lily-pad. Some people accomplish more in the afternoon. Others, during the morning. Being tired is a lily-pad. We all do our best thinking and behaving when we are rested. Then there are situational lily-pads – like having a cold, or a death in the family, or a family situation. These lily-pads come with our kids to school. These are where they are living, right now. Understanding concentration, attitude and behaviour are related to our emotional environment helps us plan accordingly – and treat ourselves kindly when we do something out of character due to one of the lily-pads we are resting on. Helping our kids understand the environmental factors in their lives will help them make sense of who they are in the big world and why they feel the way they do.

Dragonflies dive in from the sky. They cause us to react suddenly and unpredictably. Someone touching my hair might be a dragonfly. Someone picking up the toy I wanted might be one. Being told to sit down and be quiet might be one. Everyone has their own unique dragonflies based on our physical, emotional and intellectual identity. Personal dragonflies cannot be seen by others. And, most of the time, we don’t see them coming ourselves. They just strike and we react. Each time we meet one of our dragonflies, it helps to give it a name and define it. Then we know that dragonfly and may be able to prepare for it or avoid it next time.

Lily-pads and dragonflies is one way to teach emotional awareness. It is useful to develop daily habits of choosing good lily-pads – and skills in how to live through rough times. It is also a great life-skill to learn to face your dragonflies by naming them and learning how to prepare for next time.

I hope lily-pads and dragonflies is helpful for you. If it is, put a Freddo in a jelly cup and let your little tadpole eat it while you teach them all about the big frog in a pond world out there!

No comments:

Post a Comment