Three amazing teenagers. How did that happen?!? Parenting tips from the pleasantly surprised.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

A Respect Full Home

We all want our children to show respect to others. The best place to learn this is at home from the people they spend the most time with – you!

Here are some strategies for building your home into a place of respect.

Respect yourself. You are a marvellous person! Me believing this about you will not get you nearly as far as you believing it of yourself. Each of us is uniquely beautiful in many ways. Value yourself and your kids will feel this self-respect and emulate it.

Respect them. Display awards and trophies the kids have earned. Have a display wall where the children’s achievements are presented for all to see. Showing you are proud of them helps them to be proud of themselves and others.

Respect space. Have established space that ‘belongs’ to each person. Have shared space. When in shared space, respect the needs and wishes of others in that space. When entering private space, ask permission. Respect the space you are in. Children will feel and follow your lead. Talk about the various kinds of space in your home and how our interaction in that space shows respect.

Speak well. Speak well of your kids to them and to others in front of them. Say kind things about them in private and in public. In short, be truly proud of your kids and it will come out in your language. Talk them up!

Listen well. When a child speaks positively about themselves, notice and affirm them. When they speak negatively about themselves, notice and help with kind words. Ask clarifying questions: “What happened?” “Who was involved?” “Where were you in this?” Listen. Ask healing questions: “What are some positives?” “What will you do next?”

Start over. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Always talk about moments of disrespect and agree to start over – respecting each person by respecting ourselves. 

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