Three amazing teenagers. How did that happen?!? Parenting tips from the pleasantly surprised.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Think - Feel - Do

There are many ways to explore and explain the nature of ourselves and the other people in our lives.

Some of us share our star sign with others and expect them to deduce things about us from their knowledge of astrology. I’m a Libra. Yep, I’m an ideas person.

Others of us declare the foundational characteristic of our personality:  Sanguine (easy going), Choleric (driven), Melancholy (emotional) or Phlegmatic (relaxed). That’s me – the last one - phlegmatic. Garfield the cat described himself and me best when he said: “If I was any more relaxed, I’d be in a coma.”

Then there are those serious personality analysts who go for the Myers-Briggs Personality test and get to know the deep nitty-gritty about themselves. There’s sixteen types that fall into four basic categories – the Analysts, the Diplomats, the Sentinels and the Explorers. I’m an ENFP and, yes, my email signature actually says, “Keep changing the world!”

What about you? Do you enjoy doing tests to explore your personality? It’s a good practice to know yourself but the variety of tools and techniques can be daunting, so… Here’s another one!

Thinker-Feeler-Doer. Each of us is a combination of all three. Knowing our primary area and the primary area of each of our kids will save us a world of struggle. Thinkers love time to consider the options. Feelers thrive when given space to express themselves. And Doers relate the best to others when they are active. Which are you? Which is each one of your children?

Imagine a Doer dragging a Feeler to an activity to motivate them; or a Thinker using words to explain something to a Doer; or a Feeler asking a Thinker to ‘just listen’… You’re smiling. I know why! We all Think – Feel – Do right past each other nearly every day. Imagine if the Doers learned to slow down, the Feelers learned to be practical, and the Thinkers learned to get their hands dirty.

It can happen. As we parents model the ability of stepping out of our comfort zone to relate to our spouses, extended family, friends and children – our kids will see and copy us. Kids learn how to deal with things outside of their normal processing patterns when they see it done by the significant adults in their lives.

For some of us “just do it” works great. For others “Take time to care” motivates us. And for others “Think it through” rings true. All of us will benefit if we intentionally learn to think – feel – do the way those arounds us think – feel – do.

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