A friend of mine who blogs about her ‘sitcom life’ recently
posted a story about her seven-year-old son.
One day, the boy blurted out a comment, thinking out loud. “When
I grow up and have kids, I'm not going to teach them the entire English
language.”
Smiling to herself, his Mum asked him to explain.
“I'm not teaching them words like ‘But I don't want to...’ and ‘Why
do I have to...’ That way they won't argue with me.”
His Mum nodded and kept listening.
“I'll just teach them positive words that help them obey without
fuss.”
Keeping a straight face, His Mum tried not to give away the
thousand-and-one questions racing through her mind.
After a pause, the grade-one-boy asked, “Don't you think that's
an excellent idea?”
“Yes. Definitely!” His Mum said, “And what are you going to do when they learn
how to put their own words into phrases and they argue anyway?”
In the conversation below the post, one parent said she tried
this very thing. It worked until the baby was 22 months old. I can imagine that
was the first time the toddler said, “No!”
Our children learn from watching us. They will learn all the
words and phrases we use. So, rather than using a limited vocabulary – we choose
our words carefully. This leads to children who pause to consider their words –
Just like Mum and Dad do.
And when things don’t work out that way, and we say something we
wish we hadn’t, our children learn to admit they did the wrong thing and say
they are sorry for hurting others.
Parenting is learned on the job. It is hard work. There are
rough patches and painful moments. And at times, like in the above
conversation, parenting is rewarding as we realise our children are processing the
tough decisions - right from wrong, kind from hurtful – and deciding who they
want to be in the future.
